How to be alone (and love yourself the most!) without feeling lonely in 2016©

There are a lot people (mostly women) that believe that if they’re not in a relationship, their life is ruined. That honestly think, that because they are alone, they are automatically lonely. When in all honesty, loneliness is more of a state of mind than it is a status.

I’ve been single for quite a while now. If I told you how long, you’d like I was the loneliest person you’ve ever met. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have been truly enjoying my alone time. Working on myself, getting to know me better.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely! Do I ever wish I had someone to share my life with? Duh! Do I get down and depressed about it? Not so much anymore. I guess growing up an only child for the first decade of my life, prepared me to be my own best friend.

As women, we’re programmed as little girls to wish and wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and be this hero in shining armor. But if you asked 100 women if they’ve ever had such an experience. I’m positive, at least 99% of them haven’t. And the 1% that did, probably saw his true character within a few months. He doesn’t exist ladies, it was an illusion!

As men, you guys are programmed as little boys to wish and want the Beauty Queen. But if you asked 100 men if they’re satisfied with the woman they’re with. I’m positive 90% of them would probably say not really. Because once she takes off all her make-up, takes out her weave and the girdle comes off. She is no longer the woman he lusted after.

Like I said, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m still not in a rush to fall in love. I’ve done my fair share of relationship research and found that is less about the person and more about what you’re willing to accept. What about the person’s character? Most people don’t even stop to think about that part. And it’s the most important part of a person!

There are four things you should do before trying to enter into another relationship!

1. Accept Yourself – First, you must know that you are made in the image of the Most High God! He made you with His own hands. So, accept yourself fully and completely. Yes, that means flaws and all! Both inside and out.
2. Know Your Worth – You are more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Him who strengthens you! Don’t allow someone else to determine your worth when you were already brought for the highest price, that is the blood of Jesus!
3. Be Content – Enjoy your time alone with yourself! How can you expect someone to love being alone with you, if you don’t? Take this time to know what you truly want and need from a relationship. That will insure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
4. Stay Patient – God’s timing is perfect! He may not show up when we feel He should, but he’s never late. So try to have some patience. Then, when you are in the arms of your soul mate, you’ll know that it was worth the wait.Again, I’m not certified expert. I’m just paying attention. I’ve seen A LOT of relationship that failed and that are extremely unhealthy. And in each of those relationships, one or both of the duo lacked one of these four things. They didn’t love themselves (so of course they didn’t know their worth) or they weren’t content with being by themselves (because of lack of patience).My point is, don’t jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. Because there are too many people that are in relationships RIGHT NOW and are extremely lonely. So please believe, you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. You can be lonely even in a crowd of people. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

   Copyright 2016

Who’s your Connect?

Many times people don’t pay real attention to the things they do and say. Let alone, the effects of those actions. Or how it all could’ve been avoided by a simple thought in the right direction. But it’s never their fault when it’s time to reap the consequences. It all starts with a thought and is always followed by a choice.

We’ve all learned about the ripple and the butterfly effect, right? Well, for those that do not know…

The Ripple Effect

What’s happening is when something effects the stillness of the water. Creating a ripple, that expands outward along the surface. But in reference to life, it’s when something happens in one’s environment that affect everyone in said environment. Prime example, Flint’s water crisis. How many people within the state AND city governments, did nothing to solve the water contaminations in the heavily black, populated area.

The Butterfly Effect

Is most commonly explained as, when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a storm. But what it really means is that there are infinite possibilities as to what can happen when a particular thing happens. Something as simple as the butterfly flapping its wings could cause a forest fire. Or make a flower bloom. It’s like how in math and science, some equations could produce an infinite number of numbers. Prime example, the Chaos theory.

Every day that we wake up…

We are instantly faced with an infinite amount of choices. Equally meet with the consequences still lingering from the days before. Without giving much thought to how the choice made today will effect tomorrow just as much.

There are billions of people on this planet we call Earth. That looks different, speaks differently and live differently. Yet are connected to one another in some way or another. Rather, through lineage or marriage or network (which now includes, social media).

Which brings me to connections…

Connections are a major part of our lives, in all areas of life. Mind, soul, body and spirit. Our minds are made up of 100 TRILLION connections. And not even including the rest of the body. Our souls and spirits have infinite connects on the heavens. Now we have discovered the power of social media. Talk about being connected on the go.

There are many people who believe that you have to know everyone to be somebody. When that’s not the case at all. You really and truly and honestly only need one Person in your life. Jesus! He is the center of every connection from the beginning of time to the end.

Trust me, I would know. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple decades of my life. And I know without a doubt that Jesus has been walking with me along the entire journey. He has been the key to every locked door, the teacher of every lesson, the light in every area of dark place, and the refuge from all danger.

Now, I can’t make you get to know Jesus.

Nor will I try to convince you that you have. It’s your life, you have free will to live it however you see fit. But I most definitely will make the suggestion. I’m only going to tell you from real life experiences!

Not because of the stories in the Bible (although they definitely help you understand and see how God work in our lives), but because I truly have seen Jesus in action in and around me. Jesus is that small voice that speaks to your subconscious. He’s the urge to run and hide when you hear gun shots. He’s the prompt that makes you give to the homeless person on the sidewalk. He’s the one that gave the artist the vision to create their project.

He’s the One that speaks the Heavenly Father God on your behalf. Unless you don’t believe in God! Maybe you don’t believe there is a such thing as eternal life. Maybe you don’t believe that the stories that make up the Bible are real. Maybe it’s not possible.

BUT what if it is?

What if the main reason why your world is falling apart is because you don’t have That One Connection, that is Jesus? You don’t have the One Person you need in order for everything to sync together in harmonious union. Have you really ever even gotten to know him for yourself? Or are you still going off what you’ve been told about Him? Make the ONLY connection you’ll ever need today!

IMAGINE: Being unaffected by the storms of life

It took me a while to get my obedience training but I assure you, it was worth it. It TRULY is the foundation of happiness! I’m STILL a work in progress in a few areas but I’m thankful to finally be headed in the right direction!

There is a special kind of peace in the center of God’s will….Could be compared to the eye of a storm or tornado. There are often cases in which there is ONE house or tree or car that was unaffected by the storm.

Imagine being that!

RACISM IS STILL ALIVE: We have to reach COMMON ground!

I don’t agree with Common on this one. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Simply because why should “Blacks” be the ones to extend a hand of “Love”?

I could list a million reasons why it should definitely be the other way around. If my memory serves me correctly, Black people have NEVER hung whites. BUT I know how EASILY people FORGET! So, I’ll just suggest reasons why I think BOTH sides NEED to extend a hand of Love!

1.) BOTH have misconceptions of each other. White people believe that ALL black people are criminal minded and violent. Black people believe that ALL white people are prejudice and privileged. When in actuality, there are people on both sides with these traits.

2.) BOTH have dysfunctions. Whites and Blacks both have deep, dark family secrets. Whites and Blacks both have mental health issues. Whites and Blacks both have flaws.

3.) BOTH have been brainwashed by the media. Whites are “portrayed” to be “the vision of perfection”. While, Blacks are “characterized” to be “the vision of oppression”. It’s not hard to see that most black roles are written to enforce stereotypes.

4.) BOTH sides have members that just refuse to get with the times. There are still some Whites that are racist and see ALL black people as a threat to them. There are still some Blacks that have “slave” mentalities. And see white people as slave drivers/owners.

5.) BOTH sides need to get with the program! It is now 2015 and somehow there are still people who are stuck in 1915. Although, I will say that we’ve made progress towards becoming a better country. But we still are miles away.

I’ve never understood racism personally. It seems like such a small-minded concept to me. That you would limit one race of people to make your race seem superior. It’s really backwards to me.

I’ve seen that when we all come together for the same common goal, we get more done. Faster. We realize how much we truly have in common. Most of us realize, that our government has so much to do with the state in which this country is in. But we as citizens have the power to change that. There is strength in numbers.

IMAGINE THIS: We as citizens took it upon ourselves to make things right. We chose to treat each other the way we want to be treated. We stopped judging people by their appearance/status but by their actions/mentality. We stop allowing the media to form our opinions and start thinking for ourselves. We continue to make efforts to understand one another, rather than making assumptions.

When it comes down to it…We ALL have flaws. We ALL have problems. We ALL are humans. NO ONE PERSON IS ABOVE OR BELOW THE NEXT PERSON. We should ALL stand TOGETHER, side by side. Arm in arm.

It’s been said many time in many ways and in many countries…

UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL!

THE HUNGER GAMES: Just a movie or a forewarning?

I’m not sure how many of you have actually watched the movies or just seen the previews but I assure they are really amazing movies. I promise I’m not just saying that because Jennifer Lawrence and I are from the same city. Although, she’s the reason why the movie is as amazing as it is.

Briefly, the first movie is about an older sister Katniss Everdeen who volunteers to take her little sister’s place in what their nation calls “The Hunger Games“. A televised fight to the death in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to compete. Katniss and her district partner Peeta change the game by deciding to die together, rather than kill the other as the game is suppose to be won.

In the second movie Catching Fire, they are made to portray themselves as a couple when they have to participate in the “Quarter Quell” (an event that occurs every 25th year of the Games and allows the Capitol to introduce a twist). Which the Capitol decides to bring all the previous victors to the arena to compete against each other. The victors come together and fuel the district’s uprisings by destroying the forcefield. In the chaos Peeta and Katniss are separated, Katniss with the rebels from the bombed District 13 and Peeta captured by the capital. Ending with Katniss finding out that her district has now been bombed as well.

In the last movie Mockingjay Part 1, Katniss is enlisted as the Mockingjay (which is her trademark and the symbol of the uprising). She is voice of the people and the leader of the revolution. She sees and hears the story about how the Capitol destroyed her District. As well as, witness how far the Capitol is willing to go in order to disband the rebels. She realizes that the Capitol has brainwashed Peeta through torture and has turned him against her.

I bet now you’re wondering “what’s the forewarning?” Well, there are Capitol enlisted parole officers that are called “Peacekeepers”.  They are police-like officers that enforce the Capitol’s will onto the citizens. They kill those that are a threat to the Capitol and engaged in the uprising. They are the ones that bomb the districts that are going against the grain.

To the “Peacekeepers” are much like the “National Guards” that are called in when citizen being to riot. Gun toting officers that somehow forget that they are citizens when they aren’t armed and are out of uniform. Now, it’s no secret that our Capital is, in many ways, just as corrupt as this fictional Capitol. Agreed, they don’t force us into “Hunger Games” in which we have to kill each other in the confinement of an arena. But they definitely pin us against each within our neighborhoods.

How you ask? While let’s start with racism/segregation between races instead of districts. Then there’s the discrimination within the classes. The rich are well above middle class and middle class is only a notch above the lower class. The poor are pretty much non existent, much like District 13.

Just like the rebels of the Hunger Games uprising, we as citizens are the majority. Yet, we are still stuck where the presidents and corrupt politicians have left us to fend for ourselves or depend on their assistance or accept their injustice and oppression. I wonder, almost everyday, when will people wake up to all the signs around us. And everytime, I get the feeling that once people start paying attention and take their blinders off, it will be to late. But it doesn’t haven’t to be that way.

No, I’m not trying to be Katniss. I’m well aware that the story is fiction but I also know I’m not the only one who reads between the lines. I also know that I’m not the only one who sees that things are only getting more out of hand. Am I suggesting an uprising? Not yet, but I am suggesting that you take your blinders off and realize how much control the government has over your life.