How to be alone (and love yourself the most!) without feeling lonely in 2016©

There are a lot people (mostly women) that believe that if they’re not in a relationship, their life is ruined. That honestly think, that because they are alone, they are automatically lonely. When in all honesty, loneliness is more of a state of mind than it is a status.

I’ve been single for quite a while now. If I told you how long, you’d like I was the loneliest person you’ve ever met. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have been truly enjoying my alone time. Working on myself, getting to know me better.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely! Do I ever wish I had someone to share my life with? Duh! Do I get down and depressed about it? Not so much anymore. I guess growing up an only child for the first decade of my life, prepared me to be my own best friend.

As women, we’re programmed as little girls to wish and wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and be this hero in shining armor. But if you asked 100 women if they’ve ever had such an experience. I’m positive, at least 99% of them haven’t. And the 1% that did, probably saw his true character within a few months. He doesn’t exist ladies, it was an illusion!

As men, you guys are programmed as little boys to wish and want the Beauty Queen. But if you asked 100 men if they’re satisfied with the woman they’re with. I’m positive 90% of them would probably say not really. Because once she takes off all her make-up, takes out her weave and the girdle comes off. She is no longer the woman he lusted after.

Like I said, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m still not in a rush to fall in love. I’ve done my fair share of relationship research and found that is less about the person and more about what you’re willing to accept. What about the person’s character? Most people don’t even stop to think about that part. And it’s the most important part of a person!

There are four things you should do before trying to enter into another relationship!

1. Accept Yourself – First, you must know that you are made in the image of the Most High God! He made you with His own hands. So, accept yourself fully and completely. Yes, that means flaws and all! Both inside and out.
2. Know Your Worth – You are more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Him who strengthens you! Don’t allow someone else to determine your worth when you were already brought for the highest price, that is the blood of Jesus!
3. Be Content – Enjoy your time alone with yourself! How can you expect someone to love being alone with you, if you don’t? Take this time to know what you truly want and need from a relationship. That will insure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
4. Stay Patient – God’s timing is perfect! He may not show up when we feel He should, but he’s never late. So try to have some patience. Then, when you are in the arms of your soul mate, you’ll know that it was worth the wait.Again, I’m not certified expert. I’m just paying attention. I’ve seen A LOT of relationship that failed and that are extremely unhealthy. And in each of those relationships, one or both of the duo lacked one of these four things. They didn’t love themselves (so of course they didn’t know their worth) or they weren’t content with being by themselves (because of lack of patience).My point is, don’t jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. Because there are too many people that are in relationships RIGHT NOW and are extremely lonely. So please believe, you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. You can be lonely even in a crowd of people. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

   Copyright 2016

Who’s your Connect?

Many times people don’t pay real attention to the things they do and say. Let alone, the effects of those actions. Or how it all could’ve been avoided by a simple thought in the right direction. But it’s never their fault when it’s time to reap the consequences. It all starts with a thought and is always followed by a choice.

We’ve all learned about the ripple and the butterfly effect, right? Well, for those that do not know…

The Ripple Effect

What’s happening is when something effects the stillness of the water. Creating a ripple, that expands outward along the surface. But in reference to life, it’s when something happens in one’s environment that affect everyone in said environment. Prime example, Flint’s water crisis. How many people within the state AND city governments, did nothing to solve the water contaminations in the heavily black, populated area.

The Butterfly Effect

Is most commonly explained as, when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a storm. But what it really means is that there are infinite possibilities as to what can happen when a particular thing happens. Something as simple as the butterfly flapping its wings could cause a forest fire. Or make a flower bloom. It’s like how in math and science, some equations could produce an infinite number of numbers. Prime example, the Chaos theory.

Every day that we wake up…

We are instantly faced with an infinite amount of choices. Equally meet with the consequences still lingering from the days before. Without giving much thought to how the choice made today will effect tomorrow just as much.

There are billions of people on this planet we call Earth. That looks different, speaks differently and live differently. Yet are connected to one another in some way or another. Rather, through lineage or marriage or network (which now includes, social media).

Which brings me to connections…

Connections are a major part of our lives, in all areas of life. Mind, soul, body and spirit. Our minds are made up of 100 TRILLION connections. And not even including the rest of the body. Our souls and spirits have infinite connects on the heavens. Now we have discovered the power of social media. Talk about being connected on the go.

There are many people who believe that you have to know everyone to be somebody. When that’s not the case at all. You really and truly and honestly only need one Person in your life. Jesus! He is the center of every connection from the beginning of time to the end.

Trust me, I would know. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple decades of my life. And I know without a doubt that Jesus has been walking with me along the entire journey. He has been the key to every locked door, the teacher of every lesson, the light in every area of dark place, and the refuge from all danger.

Now, I can’t make you get to know Jesus.

Nor will I try to convince you that you have. It’s your life, you have free will to live it however you see fit. But I most definitely will make the suggestion. I’m only going to tell you from real life experiences!

Not because of the stories in the Bible (although they definitely help you understand and see how God work in our lives), but because I truly have seen Jesus in action in and around me. Jesus is that small voice that speaks to your subconscious. He’s the urge to run and hide when you hear gun shots. He’s the prompt that makes you give to the homeless person on the sidewalk. He’s the one that gave the artist the vision to create their project.

He’s the One that speaks the Heavenly Father God on your behalf. Unless you don’t believe in God! Maybe you don’t believe there is a such thing as eternal life. Maybe you don’t believe that the stories that make up the Bible are real. Maybe it’s not possible.

BUT what if it is?

What if the main reason why your world is falling apart is because you don’t have That One Connection, that is Jesus? You don’t have the One Person you need in order for everything to sync together in harmonious union. Have you really ever even gotten to know him for yourself? Or are you still going off what you’ve been told about Him? Make the ONLY connection you’ll ever need today!

Make Change, Add Up!

There are a lot of people in debt now days. Ranging from old bills to loans. Yet, they still haven’t made money management a required course in the school curriculums.

Personally, I didn’t learn how to manage, let alone understand the functions of money, until a couple of years ago. I learned because I was trying to get my first business started. When in hindsight, I probably should’ve learned first. Then tried to start my business and not at the same time. But hey, shrug you live and you learn, right? No regrets!

Yes, my efforts did include college. But as a result, student loans are about 85% of my debts. And I didn’t even get the chance to take ONE financial course!

Thank God, I finally got the chance to learn! If it wasn’t for the research I did, I probably wouldn’t know half of what I know now. Because school didn’t really teach me much and my parents aren’t even where I am. Although, I did learn about bill management/saving from my step-mother and bargain hurting from my grandmothers. I had to learn things like bookkeeping and investing on my own.

The times we live in and the generation that we are, doesn’t help us at all. Everything is high-class, if you will. Brands, high-tech, and keeping up with the Joneses, or should I say Kardashians?

I mean, I can understand the high-tech aspect. Technology has the power to make life more enjoyable and simpler. But keeping up with the latest fashion and trends, that ain’t my stizz. It’s never been worth it to me. Besides, they aren’t designed with me in mind.

What I’ve learned over these last few years is that: You NEED money for EVERYTHING but you don’t have to SPEND your money ON everything. Meaning, JUST because you WANT it, you DON’T have to BUY it!

How many times have you went into a store for one or two things and came out with more OR, worse , NOT even getting what you went in for. Exactly, too many times to count. But don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.

Here are some tips that have helped me and I’m sure can be useful to you as well.

1. Save your change! It adds up!
   • I’m not talking about JUST pennies either! Dimes, nickels and quarters as well. Keep it somewhere low, in a place that you don’t look very often and nobody else would think to look either.
2. Break your big bills first!
   • I know that’s against everything in you, but you’re going to do it eventually anyway! Trust me. Say you have a $100 or $50, once you break it, you have more bills. Put the loose change in your pot, and start putting aside your one dollar bills. (I advise a different place than your change pot. Like an envelope.) Then, start breaking your $20s, $10s and $5s. Once you’ve done that enough times you’ll have a nice saving of change and bills.
3. Swipe less, Automate more!
   • Many people have moved into debit cards and bank apps. Yet are still having to pay overdrawn fees. My advice is to automate your bills and keep just a little extra in the bank for overage and taxes. But if you’re going to go shopping, withdraw what you want to spend and make a list. You’d be surprised how much you save when you only have enough for exactly what you need.
4. Keep receipts, know the flow!
   • I advise you to keep them for at least a month or so, if you don’t use them for your taxes. That way you know where your money went. If you keep records of each month, you can track your spending habits. Therefore, you’ll know the average amount for your necessities and know what areas you need to make improvements in. As well as, become familiar with your bad habits. For example: How often you cook vs eat out and how often you buy unnecessary things (and what those things are.)
5. Be Intentional! Use “The Process of Elimination”!
   • This one, ties everything together! If you know your money and your habits, you can spend your money with intention. I’ll use myself as an example. I know that when I’m about to check out, I re-evaluate my cart. Remove anything I don’t really need and make sure I have exactly what I came in for. I try to take only enough money for the items I need/came in for. That way it’s easier for me to get rid of the non-essentials, to make sure I have enough money at the checkout.

I’m not sure if these tips are helpful or not because I don’t know your life. But I know they’ve worked wonders for myself and a few people I know. So, feel free to at least try them, come back and tell me how they worked or didn’t work for you

REMEMBER: Having money doesn’t make you rich and spending wisely doesn’t make you cheap.

Introduction to the Founder!

Hello! My name is Jasmine. I’m a 25-year-old aspiring writer from Louisville, KY. I’ve been writing literally before I knew words. Most people laugh when I say that, but it’s true. I try to use my gift as much as I possibly can, it keeps me at peace to be honest.

See, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery since I graduated high school in 2008. But it wasn’t until 2012, that I reached the core of my being. I became extremely close to The Holy Spirit. How did I accomplish this? By reading the Bible for a whole year.

I must admit that if it weren’t for The Bible App, I probably wouldn’t have made it to the end. Not because I couldn’t understand it, but because I wouldn’t have read it. Trust me, I know. I tried to read it 2007 and didn’t make it pass the third book (Deuteronomy). Beside some of those names…Don’t get me started.

The app helped me because it had a one year reading plan, that’s how I got my reminders. It also, had an audio option that read it to me. It was amazing because sometimes they added music to the background. So, I recommend it to anyone trying to get closer to The Trinity. It will truly change your life, if you let it.

It is because of that life changing experience, that I now know who I am as a woman and a  writer. I have full confidence in myself, my gifts, my future, and everything that the Bible says about life. I know now who my audience is and how to speak to them. Now, I know what I want my underlining message to be and it is BE YOU. That is what gives me the confidence to step out in faith and write! Write until I’m no longer able to do so. I’ve ALWAYS dreamed of becoming a New York Times Bestselling Author. I refuse to stop until becomes my reality.

I’m not completely sure what God’s will for my life is but I’ve ALWAYS felt like I was destine for greatness. That I was born to do some amazing things. It could be just my ego, but it’s truly deeper than that. I’ve been blessed with visions of my future and all I can do is thank Jesus in advance for all that He has in store for me.

When I look back over my life, I see how He has always been grooming me. I’ve been through what may seem like a lot if you hear my story in full but He’s never allowed me to lose hope or stop chasing my dreams. I’ve had to go through quite a few changes and transformations to get to where I am now.

As an effect of those changes, I’ve broken many cycles. Cycles within my family, my relationships(friends, lovers, strangers), my thoughts, my actions, and my visions. I feel so amazingly, grateful to God for all that he’s done in my life.

Like I expressed before, I don’t know exactly what God wants to do with my life. But a few years ago, I was blessed with an idea to write a book. Cycle Breaking 101, but then I kept thinking what if I just made a group on Facebook? But that didn’t work out…Everyone isn’t ready for change. Which is okay, in due time they too will realize the errors of their ways.

On the other hand, I KNOW there ARE people who want to break the chains they were born into. So, I decided to create THIS movement! For any and everybody that wants to break a cycle, has broken a cycle, and/or created a better cycle. I can’t make anyone join this movement but I hope that The Cycle Breakers can post something that will at least make you a fan or supporter. If so, I would like to thank you in advance and promise that we will always write from our hearts. Shall we start this adventure?

Comes and Goes: But I can’t wait for it to stay!

“The pleasure of the moment begins to wither almost as soon as it blossoms; our pleasures are soon swallowed up in time’s relentless torrent.” – Michel Quoist

I patiently await the day that all my hard works allows me to create unforgettable memories with my loved ones. As well as, for strangers through random acts of kindness and generosity.

I believe that everyone deserves to LIVE LIFE! Rather than simple live and survive.

I have a vision for a foundation that I think will make a huge impact on the World and make life much easier for a lot people.

I can’t speak on it in details but just know that when it becomes public, you will know it when you see!

So, be on the look out for it!

CHANGE COMES EVENTUALLY!