How to be alone (and love yourself the most!) without feeling lonely in 2016©

There are a lot people (mostly women) that believe that if they’re not in a relationship, their life is ruined. That honestly think, that because they are alone, they are automatically lonely. When in all honesty, loneliness is more of a state of mind than it is a status.

I’ve been single for quite a while now. If I told you how long, you’d like I was the loneliest person you’ve ever met. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have been truly enjoying my alone time. Working on myself, getting to know me better.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely! Do I ever wish I had someone to share my life with? Duh! Do I get down and depressed about it? Not so much anymore. I guess growing up an only child for the first decade of my life, prepared me to be my own best friend.

As women, we’re programmed as little girls to wish and wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and be this hero in shining armor. But if you asked 100 women if they’ve ever had such an experience. I’m positive, at least 99% of them haven’t. And the 1% that did, probably saw his true character within a few months. He doesn’t exist ladies, it was an illusion!

As men, you guys are programmed as little boys to wish and want the Beauty Queen. But if you asked 100 men if they’re satisfied with the woman they’re with. I’m positive 90% of them would probably say not really. Because once she takes off all her make-up, takes out her weave and the girdle comes off. She is no longer the woman he lusted after.

Like I said, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m still not in a rush to fall in love. I’ve done my fair share of relationship research and found that is less about the person and more about what you’re willing to accept. What about the person’s character? Most people don’t even stop to think about that part. And it’s the most important part of a person!

There are four things you should do before trying to enter into another relationship!

1. Accept Yourself – First, you must know that you are made in the image of the Most High God! He made you with His own hands. So, accept yourself fully and completely. Yes, that means flaws and all! Both inside and out.
2. Know Your Worth – You are more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Him who strengthens you! Don’t allow someone else to determine your worth when you were already brought for the highest price, that is the blood of Jesus!
3. Be Content – Enjoy your time alone with yourself! How can you expect someone to love being alone with you, if you don’t? Take this time to know what you truly want and need from a relationship. That will insure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
4. Stay Patient – God’s timing is perfect! He may not show up when we feel He should, but he’s never late. So try to have some patience. Then, when you are in the arms of your soul mate, you’ll know that it was worth the wait.Again, I’m not certified expert. I’m just paying attention. I’ve seen A LOT of relationship that failed and that are extremely unhealthy. And in each of those relationships, one or both of the duo lacked one of these four things. They didn’t love themselves (so of course they didn’t know their worth) or they weren’t content with being by themselves (because of lack of patience).My point is, don’t jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. Because there are too many people that are in relationships RIGHT NOW and are extremely lonely. So please believe, you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. You can be lonely even in a crowd of people. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

   Copyright 2016

Who’s your Connect?

Many times people don’t pay real attention to the things they do and say. Let alone, the effects of those actions. Or how it all could’ve been avoided by a simple thought in the right direction. But it’s never their fault when it’s time to reap the consequences. It all starts with a thought and is always followed by a choice.

We’ve all learned about the ripple and the butterfly effect, right? Well, for those that do not know…

The Ripple Effect

What’s happening is when something effects the stillness of the water. Creating a ripple, that expands outward along the surface. But in reference to life, it’s when something happens in one’s environment that affect everyone in said environment. Prime example, Flint’s water crisis. How many people within the state AND city governments, did nothing to solve the water contaminations in the heavily black, populated area.

The Butterfly Effect

Is most commonly explained as, when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a storm. But what it really means is that there are infinite possibilities as to what can happen when a particular thing happens. Something as simple as the butterfly flapping its wings could cause a forest fire. Or make a flower bloom. It’s like how in math and science, some equations could produce an infinite number of numbers. Prime example, the Chaos theory.

Every day that we wake up…

We are instantly faced with an infinite amount of choices. Equally meet with the consequences still lingering from the days before. Without giving much thought to how the choice made today will effect tomorrow just as much.

There are billions of people on this planet we call Earth. That looks different, speaks differently and live differently. Yet are connected to one another in some way or another. Rather, through lineage or marriage or network (which now includes, social media).

Which brings me to connections…

Connections are a major part of our lives, in all areas of life. Mind, soul, body and spirit. Our minds are made up of 100 TRILLION connections. And not even including the rest of the body. Our souls and spirits have infinite connects on the heavens. Now we have discovered the power of social media. Talk about being connected on the go.

There are many people who believe that you have to know everyone to be somebody. When that’s not the case at all. You really and truly and honestly only need one Person in your life. Jesus! He is the center of every connection from the beginning of time to the end.

Trust me, I would know. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple decades of my life. And I know without a doubt that Jesus has been walking with me along the entire journey. He has been the key to every locked door, the teacher of every lesson, the light in every area of dark place, and the refuge from all danger.

Now, I can’t make you get to know Jesus.

Nor will I try to convince you that you have. It’s your life, you have free will to live it however you see fit. But I most definitely will make the suggestion. I’m only going to tell you from real life experiences!

Not because of the stories in the Bible (although they definitely help you understand and see how God work in our lives), but because I truly have seen Jesus in action in and around me. Jesus is that small voice that speaks to your subconscious. He’s the urge to run and hide when you hear gun shots. He’s the prompt that makes you give to the homeless person on the sidewalk. He’s the one that gave the artist the vision to create their project.

He’s the One that speaks the Heavenly Father God on your behalf. Unless you don’t believe in God! Maybe you don’t believe there is a such thing as eternal life. Maybe you don’t believe that the stories that make up the Bible are real. Maybe it’s not possible.

BUT what if it is?

What if the main reason why your world is falling apart is because you don’t have That One Connection, that is Jesus? You don’t have the One Person you need in order for everything to sync together in harmonious union. Have you really ever even gotten to know him for yourself? Or are you still going off what you’ve been told about Him? Make the ONLY connection you’ll ever need today!

RACISM IS STILL ALIVE: We have to reach COMMON ground!

I don’t agree with Common on this one. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Simply because why should “Blacks” be the ones to extend a hand of “Love”?

I could list a million reasons why it should definitely be the other way around. If my memory serves me correctly, Black people have NEVER hung whites. BUT I know how EASILY people FORGET! So, I’ll just suggest reasons why I think BOTH sides NEED to extend a hand of Love!

1.) BOTH have misconceptions of each other. White people believe that ALL black people are criminal minded and violent. Black people believe that ALL white people are prejudice and privileged. When in actuality, there are people on both sides with these traits.

2.) BOTH have dysfunctions. Whites and Blacks both have deep, dark family secrets. Whites and Blacks both have mental health issues. Whites and Blacks both have flaws.

3.) BOTH have been brainwashed by the media. Whites are “portrayed” to be “the vision of perfection”. While, Blacks are “characterized” to be “the vision of oppression”. It’s not hard to see that most black roles are written to enforce stereotypes.

4.) BOTH sides have members that just refuse to get with the times. There are still some Whites that are racist and see ALL black people as a threat to them. There are still some Blacks that have “slave” mentalities. And see white people as slave drivers/owners.

5.) BOTH sides need to get with the program! It is now 2015 and somehow there are still people who are stuck in 1915. Although, I will say that we’ve made progress towards becoming a better country. But we still are miles away.

I’ve never understood racism personally. It seems like such a small-minded concept to me. That you would limit one race of people to make your race seem superior. It’s really backwards to me.

I’ve seen that when we all come together for the same common goal, we get more done. Faster. We realize how much we truly have in common. Most of us realize, that our government has so much to do with the state in which this country is in. But we as citizens have the power to change that. There is strength in numbers.

IMAGINE THIS: We as citizens took it upon ourselves to make things right. We chose to treat each other the way we want to be treated. We stopped judging people by their appearance/status but by their actions/mentality. We stop allowing the media to form our opinions and start thinking for ourselves. We continue to make efforts to understand one another, rather than making assumptions.

When it comes down to it…We ALL have flaws. We ALL have problems. We ALL are humans. NO ONE PERSON IS ABOVE OR BELOW THE NEXT PERSON. We should ALL stand TOGETHER, side by side. Arm in arm.

It’s been said many time in many ways and in many countries…

UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL!

THE AMERICAN DREAM…Yet to be seen.

I’ve always dreamed of moving to New York, I think it’s every writer’s dream city. It’s the picture you envision when you think of the “American Dream”. It’s the “Big City” experience everyone wants to experience.

They say if you can make there, you can make it anywhere. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to take what little money I had to buy a ticket and just go to see what happens. Even willing to be homeless and work my way to the top for the complete experience, if you will.

Of course, I have yet to even simply visit but I have a feeling I’ll be getting there within the next few years. But coming from where I’m from, it’s not as simple as it may seem.

See, the “American Dream” is much harder to achieve and see with clarity from my perspective. It would be very much like The Great Gatsby. I’ve already began to reinvent myself.

It’s been a lifelong challenge to shred my circumstances and bad habits. I still have some changes to make and some habits to break but I’m well on my way. And I can’t wait until I have become the fully grown Butterfly I was born to be.

If you want change…Be the Change!

One of my favorite quotes by Gandhi is “BE the CHANGE YOU WISH to SEE in the WORLD!” I personally, took it to heart!

I’m a dreamer! ALWAYS have been and most likely ALWAYS will be. I’m one of the crazies that STILL believe that change is possible!

The devil WILL get inside YOUR head and convince you that YOU’RE a lot of things that YOU’RE NOT! So, YOU have to BE careful with YOUR thoughts!

Like Michael Jackson sung YOU HAVE TO START WITH THE PERSON IN THE MIRROR!