How to be alone (and love yourself the most!) without feeling lonely in 2016©

There are a lot people (mostly women) that believe that if they’re not in a relationship, their life is ruined. That honestly think, that because they are alone, they are automatically lonely. When in all honesty, loneliness is more of a state of mind than it is a status.

I’ve been single for quite a while now. If I told you how long, you’d like I was the loneliest person you’ve ever met. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have been truly enjoying my alone time. Working on myself, getting to know me better.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely! Do I ever wish I had someone to share my life with? Duh! Do I get down and depressed about it? Not so much anymore. I guess growing up an only child for the first decade of my life, prepared me to be my own best friend.

As women, we’re programmed as little girls to wish and wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and be this hero in shining armor. But if you asked 100 women if they’ve ever had such an experience. I’m positive, at least 99% of them haven’t. And the 1% that did, probably saw his true character within a few months. He doesn’t exist ladies, it was an illusion!

As men, you guys are programmed as little boys to wish and want the Beauty Queen. But if you asked 100 men if they’re satisfied with the woman they’re with. I’m positive 90% of them would probably say not really. Because once she takes off all her make-up, takes out her weave and the girdle comes off. She is no longer the woman he lusted after.

Like I said, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m still not in a rush to fall in love. I’ve done my fair share of relationship research and found that is less about the person and more about what you’re willing to accept. What about the person’s character? Most people don’t even stop to think about that part. And it’s the most important part of a person!

There are four things you should do before trying to enter into another relationship!

1. Accept Yourself – First, you must know that you are made in the image of the Most High God! He made you with His own hands. So, accept yourself fully and completely. Yes, that means flaws and all! Both inside and out.
2. Know Your Worth – You are more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Him who strengthens you! Don’t allow someone else to determine your worth when you were already brought for the highest price, that is the blood of Jesus!
3. Be Content – Enjoy your time alone with yourself! How can you expect someone to love being alone with you, if you don’t? Take this time to know what you truly want and need from a relationship. That will insure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
4. Stay Patient – God’s timing is perfect! He may not show up when we feel He should, but he’s never late. So try to have some patience. Then, when you are in the arms of your soul mate, you’ll know that it was worth the wait.Again, I’m not certified expert. I’m just paying attention. I’ve seen A LOT of relationship that failed and that are extremely unhealthy. And in each of those relationships, one or both of the duo lacked one of these four things. They didn’t love themselves (so of course they didn’t know their worth) or they weren’t content with being by themselves (because of lack of patience).My point is, don’t jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. Because there are too many people that are in relationships RIGHT NOW and are extremely lonely. So please believe, you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. You can be lonely even in a crowd of people. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

   Copyright 2016

Who’s your Connect?

Many times people don’t pay real attention to the things they do and say. Let alone, the effects of those actions. Or how it all could’ve been avoided by a simple thought in the right direction. But it’s never their fault when it’s time to reap the consequences. It all starts with a thought and is always followed by a choice.

We’ve all learned about the ripple and the butterfly effect, right? Well, for those that do not know…

The Ripple Effect

What’s happening is when something effects the stillness of the water. Creating a ripple, that expands outward along the surface. But in reference to life, it’s when something happens in one’s environment that affect everyone in said environment. Prime example, Flint’s water crisis. How many people within the state AND city governments, did nothing to solve the water contaminations in the heavily black, populated area.

The Butterfly Effect

Is most commonly explained as, when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a storm. But what it really means is that there are infinite possibilities as to what can happen when a particular thing happens. Something as simple as the butterfly flapping its wings could cause a forest fire. Or make a flower bloom. It’s like how in math and science, some equations could produce an infinite number of numbers. Prime example, the Chaos theory.

Every day that we wake up…

We are instantly faced with an infinite amount of choices. Equally meet with the consequences still lingering from the days before. Without giving much thought to how the choice made today will effect tomorrow just as much.

There are billions of people on this planet we call Earth. That looks different, speaks differently and live differently. Yet are connected to one another in some way or another. Rather, through lineage or marriage or network (which now includes, social media).

Which brings me to connections…

Connections are a major part of our lives, in all areas of life. Mind, soul, body and spirit. Our minds are made up of 100 TRILLION connections. And not even including the rest of the body. Our souls and spirits have infinite connects on the heavens. Now we have discovered the power of social media. Talk about being connected on the go.

There are many people who believe that you have to know everyone to be somebody. When that’s not the case at all. You really and truly and honestly only need one Person in your life. Jesus! He is the center of every connection from the beginning of time to the end.

Trust me, I would know. I’ve learned a lot over the last couple decades of my life. And I know without a doubt that Jesus has been walking with me along the entire journey. He has been the key to every locked door, the teacher of every lesson, the light in every area of dark place, and the refuge from all danger.

Now, I can’t make you get to know Jesus.

Nor will I try to convince you that you have. It’s your life, you have free will to live it however you see fit. But I most definitely will make the suggestion. I’m only going to tell you from real life experiences!

Not because of the stories in the Bible (although they definitely help you understand and see how God work in our lives), but because I truly have seen Jesus in action in and around me. Jesus is that small voice that speaks to your subconscious. He’s the urge to run and hide when you hear gun shots. He’s the prompt that makes you give to the homeless person on the sidewalk. He’s the one that gave the artist the vision to create their project.

He’s the One that speaks the Heavenly Father God on your behalf. Unless you don’t believe in God! Maybe you don’t believe there is a such thing as eternal life. Maybe you don’t believe that the stories that make up the Bible are real. Maybe it’s not possible.

BUT what if it is?

What if the main reason why your world is falling apart is because you don’t have That One Connection, that is Jesus? You don’t have the One Person you need in order for everything to sync together in harmonious union. Have you really ever even gotten to know him for yourself? Or are you still going off what you’ve been told about Him? Make the ONLY connection you’ll ever need today!

ATTRACTION: It all starts with the mind!

 

Don’t get me wrong, you should ALWAYS try to LOOK your best. But it’s not enough to just be pretty or handsome. A real man/woman wants MORE than just a cute face or nice body.

They want someone they can GROW with! Learn/Teach something NEW! Have an intelligent conversation with!

People with their heads on straight and lives headed in the right direction don’t care about what happened on “Love & Hip Hop” last week. They care about what’s going on in the world! They’re THINKING of ways to make it a better place!

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT AND YOU’LL GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT!

REACH OUT: The simplest things can go a long way!

There’s nothing like getting a text that brightens your day! I don’t think people realize how such a small gesture can truly affect someone’s day. Just a simple, “I hope you have a blessed day! Don’t sweat the small stuff!”, can improve someone’s entire aura!

I used to be that person that wrote everyone in my phone just to tell them I loved them or that I was thinking about them. Not because I wanted something or because I had a hidden objective. I did it…JUST BECAUSE!

Then, I became depressed because of the turn my life took and I stopped. Deep down, I was hoping and wishing that someone would send me those types of text. But they never came and that only made me cut everyone off. Nobody ever called or texted to see how I was doing. Still today, if I don’t reach out to people…I probably won’t talk to them. But I’ve decided that I’m going to start sending my random text again.

I may not get them in return but it’ll make my day just to make someone else feel special.

Sometimes we have to step outside of our bubbles and realize that WE ALL are going to have times that we need to lean on one another. WE ALL have bad days. WE ALL need encouragement, support, motivation, and inspiration sometimes. WE ALL want to feel like we’re special. WE ALL want to know if that “special someone” is thinking about us like we’re thinking about them.

WE ARE ALL HUMAN! We all want to be loved and cherished. Reach out to someone! Rather it’s a family member, a childhood friend, or just someone that you walk past everyday at work. I bet you’ll put a smile on their face!

Oh, by the way!

I love you and I hope your day is filled with blessings!

ARE YOU Ready for War?

We are all at war, rather we realize it are not. I’m not just talking about the war in Iraq or Chiraq. Or even the “war on drug”. We are enlisted, as Christians, into a battle every day that we are alive. It always starts in our minds!

I didn’t realize this for myself until I began reading Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind. (If you haven’t read it already, I suggest you do so.) It was a life changing read. It wasn’t until I read it that I finally and clearly understood what Peter meant when he said “Be alert and of sober mind! Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” [1 Peter 5:8].

I’ve found this scripture, like all scripture, to be VERY true. He’s always waiting for us to drop our guard so that he can come in and disrupt our lives. It is in the Book of Job that we get the chance to see how far he is willing to go, in order to turn us away from God.

We can’t allow this to happen! The amazing part is, there are many ways to prepare for these attacks. Ways that, all throughout the Bible, are proven to work. Ranging from prayer to mindfulness. The greatest of them all are the full armor of salvation.

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Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm than, with the Belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition, to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. [Ephesians 6:13-17]

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Let’s start with The Helmet of Salvation! It is knowing, without a doubt, that Jesus (the Head of the Church) died for our sins and that we are saved from the consequences (which are the wrath of God and death). I like to call it the Helmet of Hope as well.

Next is The Breastplate of Righteousness! Which enables us to have a heart of goodness. It urges us to be kind and just to people, especially those we don’t know. It’s what helps us love our enemies and keeps our morals/integrity in check. It also helps us to guard our hearts.

Then, there’s The Belt of Truth! The truth about God the Father, Jesus Christ our brother, and the Holy Spirit which make up the Holy Trinity (and their functions/works). The truth about yourself (who you are created to be) and the world around you (your family, friends, country, etc.). It gives you the wisdom to stay balanced. I can’t speak for anyone else but when I read the Bible (from beginning to end), I learned so much about all three of these areas. So, I can assure that the truth shall truly set you free. [John 8:32]

There is also The Shoes of Peace! In which your steps are ordered by the Most High. Knowing that you’re walking (living) in agreement with God’s will for your life. It makes you surefooted. It allows you to be confident in yourself as well as your faith.

Which brings us to The Shield of Faith! Trusting that no matter what may be going on in your life and the world around you right now, things will get/be better. Knowing God is ALWAYS in complete control and has the final word. It gives you the strength to overcome the obstacles that the devil places in front of you. As well as, the courage to keep fighting.

Finally, there’s The Sword of the Spirit! Which is the Word of God, the Bible. I like to believe that Prayer and Scripture make up this double-edged sword.

As a soldier in the Army of the Lord, I can promise you that you’re going to need this armor for every day of your life. And that each piece is fought for and earned much like ranking in the Army. You get the Helmet of Salvation when you’re baptized but you have to work hard, on a regular basis, for the rest.

I tell you the truth, I’m still trying to put on my Shoes of Peace. I have one on but the other keeps falling off. It’s like every time I try to put it back on, the devil steps on my foot. He knows I’m covered in all other areas, so he tries to keep me worried about something. But I never give up I’m determined to put that other shoe on EVERYDAY.

So, again I ask, are you ready for war? Do you have on your Armor of Salvation?