How to be alone (and love yourself the most!) without feeling lonely in 2016©

There are a lot people (mostly women) that believe that if they’re not in a relationship, their life is ruined. That honestly think, that because they are alone, they are automatically lonely. When in all honesty, loneliness is more of a state of mind than it is a status.

I’ve been single for quite a while now. If I told you how long, you’d like I was the loneliest person you’ve ever met. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have been truly enjoying my alone time. Working on myself, getting to know me better.

Do I get lonely sometimes? Absolutely! Do I ever wish I had someone to share my life with? Duh! Do I get down and depressed about it? Not so much anymore. I guess growing up an only child for the first decade of my life, prepared me to be my own best friend.

As women, we’re programmed as little girls to wish and wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and be this hero in shining armor. But if you asked 100 women if they’ve ever had such an experience. I’m positive, at least 99% of them haven’t. And the 1% that did, probably saw his true character within a few months. He doesn’t exist ladies, it was an illusion!

As men, you guys are programmed as little boys to wish and want the Beauty Queen. But if you asked 100 men if they’re satisfied with the woman they’re with. I’m positive 90% of them would probably say not really. Because once she takes off all her make-up, takes out her weave and the girdle comes off. She is no longer the woman he lusted after.

Like I said, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m still not in a rush to fall in love. I’ve done my fair share of relationship research and found that is less about the person and more about what you’re willing to accept. What about the person’s character? Most people don’t even stop to think about that part. And it’s the most important part of a person!

There are four things you should do before trying to enter into another relationship!

1. Accept Yourself – First, you must know that you are made in the image of the Most High God! He made you with His own hands. So, accept yourself fully and completely. Yes, that means flaws and all! Both inside and out.
2. Know Your Worth – You are more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Him who strengthens you! Don’t allow someone else to determine your worth when you were already brought for the highest price, that is the blood of Jesus!
3. Be Content – Enjoy your time alone with yourself! How can you expect someone to love being alone with you, if you don’t? Take this time to know what you truly want and need from a relationship. That will insure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
4. Stay Patient – God’s timing is perfect! He may not show up when we feel He should, but he’s never late. So try to have some patience. Then, when you are in the arms of your soul mate, you’ll know that it was worth the wait.Again, I’m not certified expert. I’m just paying attention. I’ve seen A LOT of relationship that failed and that are extremely unhealthy. And in each of those relationships, one or both of the duo lacked one of these four things. They didn’t love themselves (so of course they didn’t know their worth) or they weren’t content with being by themselves (because of lack of patience).My point is, don’t jump into a relationship just because you don’t want to be lonely. Because there are too many people that are in relationships RIGHT NOW and are extremely lonely. So please believe, you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. You can be lonely even in a crowd of people. It’s all about how you feel about yourself.

   Copyright 2016

ATTRACTION: It all starts with the mind!

 

Don’t get me wrong, you should ALWAYS try to LOOK your best. But it’s not enough to just be pretty or handsome. A real man/woman wants MORE than just a cute face or nice body.

They want someone they can GROW with! Learn/Teach something NEW! Have an intelligent conversation with!

People with their heads on straight and lives headed in the right direction don’t care about what happened on “Love & Hip Hop” last week. They care about what’s going on in the world! They’re THINKING of ways to make it a better place!

GET YOUR MIND RIGHT AND YOU’LL GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT!

RACISM IS STILL ALIVE: We have to reach COMMON ground!

I don’t agree with Common on this one. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Simply because why should “Blacks” be the ones to extend a hand of “Love”?

I could list a million reasons why it should definitely be the other way around. If my memory serves me correctly, Black people have NEVER hung whites. BUT I know how EASILY people FORGET! So, I’ll just suggest reasons why I think BOTH sides NEED to extend a hand of Love!

1.) BOTH have misconceptions of each other. White people believe that ALL black people are criminal minded and violent. Black people believe that ALL white people are prejudice and privileged. When in actuality, there are people on both sides with these traits.

2.) BOTH have dysfunctions. Whites and Blacks both have deep, dark family secrets. Whites and Blacks both have mental health issues. Whites and Blacks both have flaws.

3.) BOTH have been brainwashed by the media. Whites are “portrayed” to be “the vision of perfection”. While, Blacks are “characterized” to be “the vision of oppression”. It’s not hard to see that most black roles are written to enforce stereotypes.

4.) BOTH sides have members that just refuse to get with the times. There are still some Whites that are racist and see ALL black people as a threat to them. There are still some Blacks that have “slave” mentalities. And see white people as slave drivers/owners.

5.) BOTH sides need to get with the program! It is now 2015 and somehow there are still people who are stuck in 1915. Although, I will say that we’ve made progress towards becoming a better country. But we still are miles away.

I’ve never understood racism personally. It seems like such a small-minded concept to me. That you would limit one race of people to make your race seem superior. It’s really backwards to me.

I’ve seen that when we all come together for the same common goal, we get more done. Faster. We realize how much we truly have in common. Most of us realize, that our government has so much to do with the state in which this country is in. But we as citizens have the power to change that. There is strength in numbers.

IMAGINE THIS: We as citizens took it upon ourselves to make things right. We chose to treat each other the way we want to be treated. We stopped judging people by their appearance/status but by their actions/mentality. We stop allowing the media to form our opinions and start thinking for ourselves. We continue to make efforts to understand one another, rather than making assumptions.

When it comes down to it…We ALL have flaws. We ALL have problems. We ALL are humans. NO ONE PERSON IS ABOVE OR BELOW THE NEXT PERSON. We should ALL stand TOGETHER, side by side. Arm in arm.

It’s been said many time in many ways and in many countries…

UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL!

THE HUNGER GAMES: Just a movie or a forewarning?

I’m not sure how many of you have actually watched the movies or just seen the previews but I assure they are really amazing movies. I promise I’m not just saying that because Jennifer Lawrence and I are from the same city. Although, she’s the reason why the movie is as amazing as it is.

Briefly, the first movie is about an older sister Katniss Everdeen who volunteers to take her little sister’s place in what their nation calls “The Hunger Games“. A televised fight to the death in which two teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen at random to compete. Katniss and her district partner Peeta change the game by deciding to die together, rather than kill the other as the game is suppose to be won.

In the second movie Catching Fire, they are made to portray themselves as a couple when they have to participate in the “Quarter Quell” (an event that occurs every 25th year of the Games and allows the Capitol to introduce a twist). Which the Capitol decides to bring all the previous victors to the arena to compete against each other. The victors come together and fuel the district’s uprisings by destroying the forcefield. In the chaos Peeta and Katniss are separated, Katniss with the rebels from the bombed District 13 and Peeta captured by the capital. Ending with Katniss finding out that her district has now been bombed as well.

In the last movie Mockingjay Part 1, Katniss is enlisted as the Mockingjay (which is her trademark and the symbol of the uprising). She is voice of the people and the leader of the revolution. She sees and hears the story about how the Capitol destroyed her District. As well as, witness how far the Capitol is willing to go in order to disband the rebels. She realizes that the Capitol has brainwashed Peeta through torture and has turned him against her.

I bet now you’re wondering “what’s the forewarning?” Well, there are Capitol enlisted parole officers that are called “Peacekeepers”.  They are police-like officers that enforce the Capitol’s will onto the citizens. They kill those that are a threat to the Capitol and engaged in the uprising. They are the ones that bomb the districts that are going against the grain.

To the “Peacekeepers” are much like the “National Guards” that are called in when citizen being to riot. Gun toting officers that somehow forget that they are citizens when they aren’t armed and are out of uniform. Now, it’s no secret that our Capital is, in many ways, just as corrupt as this fictional Capitol. Agreed, they don’t force us into “Hunger Games” in which we have to kill each other in the confinement of an arena. But they definitely pin us against each within our neighborhoods.

How you ask? While let’s start with racism/segregation between races instead of districts. Then there’s the discrimination within the classes. The rich are well above middle class and middle class is only a notch above the lower class. The poor are pretty much non existent, much like District 13.

Just like the rebels of the Hunger Games uprising, we as citizens are the majority. Yet, we are still stuck where the presidents and corrupt politicians have left us to fend for ourselves or depend on their assistance or accept their injustice and oppression. I wonder, almost everyday, when will people wake up to all the signs around us. And everytime, I get the feeling that once people start paying attention and take their blinders off, it will be to late. But it doesn’t haven’t to be that way.

No, I’m not trying to be Katniss. I’m well aware that the story is fiction but I also know I’m not the only one who reads between the lines. I also know that I’m not the only one who sees that things are only getting more out of hand. Am I suggesting an uprising? Not yet, but I am suggesting that you take your blinders off and realize how much control the government has over your life.

Everybody Hates Sneak Dissers

I think it’s funny how racist white people act. Being a young black female in Louisville, KY, I’ve experienced my fair share of racism. From the, I-did-nothing-wrong-but-they-labeled-me-a-thugette type of racism. To the let-me-follow-her-and-make-sure-she-doesn’t-do-anything kind. And the ever popular stereotypical kind.

The most recent “racist moment” happened when I was in Walgreen’s. Not bothering anyone, just looking around. I will admit that I was “dressed the part” if you will. I was wearing a green sweater with red sweat pants and pair of light blue Timberland boots. I’m not one that puts a ton of thought into what I wear as long as I’m comfortable, but there’s the label racism.

I was there with a loved one and as I began looking for her, I noticed two white, female cashiers near the photo station. The younger one behind the counter and the older sitting at the photo kiosk. After I found her, we separated again and I went up towards the entrance registers. I was looking at the rack and heard the the younger lady say something, almost as if she was the Chinese woman from Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking your Juice in the Hood who kept telling them to “Hurry up and buy!”. Although, I assumed she was speaking to someone else because my back was turned towards them because like I said, I was looking at a rack.

So, as I was looking, I noticed a tripod stand for cellphones. Excited about such a product, I picked it up and went to show it to my loved one. As I turned around, I noticed the women looking at me like I was somehow “up to something”. But I shrugged it off because I could care less about how someone else feels about what I’m wearing. So, I showed the item to my loved one and as we were walking back over to the rack, she confirmed that they were indeed looking at me and whispering among themselves. She said that it wasn’t until they noticed her looking at them, that they stopped.

Like I questioned my loved one, why was she even talking to me? I wasn’t even headed in her direction nor to a register, period. I was looking at a rack, still shopping. And there were two other people up there, both in which were also black females. I guess I was the only one that looked “suspicious”.

So, of course when I went to checkout I spoke with proper language and intelligence. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to ignore you, I just didn’t think you were speaking to me.” I then ignored her and started a conversation with my loved one and handed her my money before she even got the chance to tell me the total. I didn’t speak to her again until I said “Thanks! Have a blessed night!” Not out of spite I assure you, just out disgust.

I’ve never been one to judge by a cover, literally or figuratively. I don’t think it’s fair. But not everyone lives by Luke 6:31 “Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.”

You know, the part that disgust me is that there are soooo many white people who claim to be devout Christians. Yet, majority of them don’t follow even the most basic scriptures. They place themselves upon the highest horses but don’t even deserved to be near it. But in GOD WE TRUST! Right?

I’ll just end by stating, they lost a customer. I surely haven’t been back since and I promise I will not be back again. I boycott businesses with bad customer service.